Just Be...

Just another panic day

A few grounded, millions delayed

Hold on to their lives, and hope for change

Then tomorrow comes and it's still all the same

The streets are crowded, but it's not a revolution

Cos it's not what they need, but what they want that they go for

It's the way they think, for the present and not the future

The real future's close, a good today is still too far

I dont kill hope, that's not my job

But I'll take the blame, if that's what I'm here for

Softened hearts, brainwashed to feel strong

Dont you see hope for change is not change at all

Everybody wants a good life, that's why it's getting worse

The wish that they wished is becoming a curse

Want all they can think of, then they want to be free

Get rid of all ambition, is the only way to JUST BE...

All of the below...

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
or fester like a sore-
and then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over-
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes, "Harlem[2]"

Monsoon 2009

Monsoon this year is so late, XWhyDieANut?X says he read somewhere that it's the latest in 10 years( and then goes on to clarify what "latest" means in this context. Nevermind...)

It's so late you could actually see it, if u were looking. Yes, if you're so utterly jobless like I am, and sometimes consider copyrighting "doing nothing", then you can see "nothing" happening. I know "nothing" so well it's like my long-lost-but-now-found twin. Let me explain how to look and what to look for and maybe you'll start seeing it. Treat a kid to an ice-cream everyday at the same time, for a few weeks and see how he gets ready at the same time. Feed a stray dog or cat regularly and see how they behave. Goto your lover, ermm... you get the drift. Breaking the routine makes sure new things happen, as I'm sure at least Tristram Shandy would agree.

Nevertheless, the wait is over, and the "rainy season" is finally here, sneaking in like all late-comers, no thunderous announcements of arrival this year( or does that happen during the retreat?). But something did announce it for me. The smell of dirt in the first rain included some dust, and I almost choked in my sleep...

This was something for our very own poet XSonKateX maybe about 2 yrs back, in the form of an sms( isn't sms the very best form of communication since jhinga-bhunga-jhinga-bhunga-hulu-hulu-hulu-hulu-hulu-hulu-hulu-hulu)

"She makes me spend the whole day in vain
Her power, beauty drive me insane
I'm not human if i don't complain
Don't get me wrong, I still love the rain..."

Mediocrity sucks...

Is it possible to top that piece? I can't...

And that's the only reason I haven't posted in over 6 months. As XStreeramakrishnamachariX puts it, "It's all about raising the bar, isn't it?" Yes it is, it absolutely is. In fact that's all it really is about. Raising the bar, putting on the stupidest looking (swim?)suit, and running as if you're about to be run over, with an expression on your face like you just saw a ghost, and jumping as high as you can, always trying to break your own personal record, even if you've already so many times. That's what life and every small part of it should be about.

At this exact point, I've been for so long. And now I succumb. That wasn't me, I can't write that well, it was a dream that i could remember and put into words. I just feel lucky it was my dream...

So what do u do when u think u can't jump that high? Do u still try and let the bar fall to the ground? I don't. I'll just let it be there, and remember it as the highest point I conquered.

Mediocrity rules. It's like that cushion under the bar. Something to fall back on...

So now I'm gonna end this phase and have this blog looking again like a regular, mid-twenties loser's (with the QLC and everything intact) instead of some anon project of some literary genius (Tell me when there's enough self-praise cos i can't make out...)

Wanna be a mediocre, not a wannabe...

p.s. that didn't come out right, humbly rephrase, that last post was a huge achievement for me...

...just a dream

Continued from the last post. Please read this before you proceed.

“But that was just a dream, just a dream, just a dream…” Michael Stipe would’ve crooned. And I would not have bothered either, if it hadn’t happened the way it did.

Though it faded out smoothly, the waking was sudden, not the sit-up-sweating-sudden, but the eyes-wide-open-and-completely-alert-sudden, immediately reminding of that scene from The Matrix where Neo wakes in his room, after the night at the party where he “followed the white rabbit”. Was very similar to how the loud music at the party perfectly leads into the alarm clock sound.

The last thing I can remember is going to sleep in this train that I’m travelling from Bengaluru to Mumbai in. Mind you, I did not fall asleep in the middle of anything. Distinctly remember putting all my things- the valet, mobile phone, digital camera, headphones, everything away in safe places and then going to sleep. But when I woke up, everything except the valet was simply lying between me and the wall of the berth. And the valet was placed on my chest! As if to return something after some sinister business has been completed, and explicitly warn the victim. Like a decapitated pet.

Checked everything thoroughly, nothing was missing. Maybe it’s nothing, but if IT WAS YOU, TURN YOURSELF IN. NOW!